My younger brother, Bret, died tragically hiking in Colorado early last month. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. I’ve been through all the stages of grief, but now I think I’ve settled on the acceptance stage.
It could be because my wife is recovering from surgery and I’m in charge of so much around the house. It could also be that I’m just in the acceptance stage and that’s okay.
I still think about him every morning when I wake up and realize that he’s no longer here. But it’s more like a realization than a sob or anything.
You know the elephant on my shoulders giving me a back rub? It’s gone too. I guess distractions help.
Does this mean that I won’t get hit with grief again about Bret dying? No. I’m sure I’ll be sad and crying at his celebration of life get together later this month.
I guess time lessens all sadness. 🤷🏻♂️
Update 7/12/2026: Yea, well it hit me again. I just had to concentrate on other things in my life for a few weeks. Now that things have died down the realization that Bret died hit me. Not like a ton of bricks, but got me down and sad. In 2 weeks we have the East Coast celebration of life for him. That’ll give me some much needed closure. I think what hits me the hardest is that we weren’t extremely close, and I feel like I could have tried harder. Bah! Oh well. Lot’s of “what ifs” will always be there.
Comments
2 responses to “Have I Finished Mourning Or Just Accepted It?”
@seth
Much love and strength to you. I was thinking about you earlier and wondered how you were doing
The shock of losing someone out of turn is horrendous. I feel every word of your post like I felt it after my brother went suddenly.
A small note though: don't be surprised if you go through some of those stages of grief again. They ebb and flow with time.
Acceptance is good though, the grief is still painful but it shows you are starting to learn to live around it.
Yea, I’m sure it’ll come back and go away many times. Such a sad thing.